...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
