Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
