Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
