I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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