the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
