Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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