I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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