i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
