New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
