We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
