Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
