So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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