Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
