We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize