You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
