Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
