He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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