i just google imaged poop.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
