I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
