even my farts smell like vagina
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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