I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
