Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
