sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize