Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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