Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
