I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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