They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize