sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
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Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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