it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
honey bunches of taint.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
