from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize