a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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