sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Randomize
