Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
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The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
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I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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