That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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