I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
