Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
