The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
