For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
