FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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