is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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