she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
