what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You took a bar mat shot.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
