do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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