He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
