We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
