there's paper in my vomit.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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