For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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