it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
