Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She's the barista slut.
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Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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