TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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