Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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