i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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