I hate your face
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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