ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize