im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
