i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
