i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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