I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
