I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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