And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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