Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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