she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
