SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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