I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
