In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
