I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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