I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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