me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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