1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
