I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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